Sheryl Sandberg’s nonfiction book “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead” came out last March and has stirred up a lot of talk either favorably or unfavorably about it ever since. Some have also seen her TEDTalk titled “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders,” which she did in 2010. Currently Sandberg, the chief operating officer at Facebook, has a four-part series with co-writer Adam Grant on women at work running in the New York Times. The series continues with views that are in her book.
I picked up and read “Lean In” because my women’s book group chose to discuss it later this month, though I had been curious to read it since it came out. I don’t normally read business or books about employment, but it raises some interesting issues and I’m sure it’ll be a decent book for discussion as everyone has different work experiences and personal lives and views that will touch on things Sandberg brings up in the book.
Her main concern is the dearth of women in top executive or leadership positions at the workplace and that fewer women are aspiring to senior positions. She is upset that highly qualified and educated women are dropping out of the workforce and argues for getting more women in powerful positions by focusing mostly on what women can do to overcome the internal barriers that hold them back.
Yep, women, she maintains, are often holding themselves back from getting the top jobs. I’m sure many aren’t really pleased to hear this from a privileged, rich woman who had very powerful mentors along the way. As if she’s saying, I did it so what’s wrong with you? But generally I liked her book and thought it made many valid points. I didn’t agree with everything in it, but I did think it added to the discussion of working women, and I’m not one to dismiss it just because it looks inward at what women can do better.
In “Lean In,” Sandberg talks among other things about: increasing self-confidence, getting over stereotypes, reaching for opportunities, taking risks, getting mentoring, negotiating more, not worrying about pleasing everyone, applying for promotions, setting goals, and choosing a spouse that will equally share in household chores and childcare. She wants more women to “lean in” to their careers and more men to “lean in” to their families.
Quite a bit of what’s in the book might not be totally groundbreaking, you’ve likely heard these kinds of female business or self-help acumens before, but the book’s also well integrated with personal anecdotes and statistical research. I found both the stats and anecdotes revealing — and I thought quite a few of her tips were good and made me reflect on ways I could do things slightly differently at home or at work.
A few things I think that could’ve been cut from the book or that I would avoid would be: crying at work especially in front of your boss, smiling endlessly when asking for promotions, and asking any prospective employees whether they plan to have children. I guess I wouldn’t feel comfortable with these.
But I do share her premise that a world in which more women held power would be a better place, and I think it’s helpful of her to explore why we aren’t there yet. It’s definitely based on an array of complex reasons (both internal and external). I’d also point out there’s many ways to contribute to society and make an impact, and many ways to lead successful and fulfilling lives. Her corporate way is just one of many. I think she’d argue that women must keep going, reaching for goals and opportunities whatever their path might be and despite fears and obstacles. I found her book was good food for thought.
Meanwhile my husband and I saw the movie “Wild” last week, which I think we both liked. Many of those who read Cheryl Strayed’s 2012 memoir won’t be disappointed I think by the film version. It sticks pretty close to the book and enhances it with the beautiful visuals of the landscape and the performances by Reese Witherspoon as Cheryl and Laura Dern as her mother, both of whom have been nominated for Academy Awards for their portrayals.
“Wild” chronicles a young woman’s solo hike along the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mojave Desert to Washington State undertaken after the death of her mother and the end of her marriage. On the journey she finds solace and begins to heal.
I’m a sucker for such hiking/journey-types of finding oneself stories, and while I liked but didn’t love the “Wild” book, I was moved by seeing her journey on film. During Cheryl’s trek, there’s various flashbacks to her childhood with her brother and her single mother and also flashbacks of the downward spiral her life took in her late twenties. You feel her anguish and grief and also her healing as she moves forward. It’s a quiet film that captures her strenuous hike and internal struggles. It reminded me a bit of the 2010 film “The Way” with Martin Sheen, which similarly involves a long hike and the grieving process.
What about you have you read “Lean In” or seen the film “Wild” and what did you think?
Nope. I haven’t seen either one, but I would like to read Wild and see the movie too, but probably will watch the movie on DVD after reading the book, I’m thinking at this point.
Also you don’t know if your husband liked it or not? 😉 Do you want me to ask him?
Ha Bryan. I think he liked the movie because of the trail hiking parts. He wants to do the trail now. Hmm.
I am no longer much a part of the working world, but still interested in women’s issues and agree the world would be a better place with more women in positions of power. That said, I dislike Facebook enough to be not very interested in a book by the woman who leads it. That said, I still use Facebook — a lot.
Nice description of Wild.
Yeah Barbara, I think you were the one who got me to go to the movie Wild. I liked what you had to say about it. Glad I went. thanks!
I haven’t read Lean In but have heard quite a bit about it from friends and colleagues. It seems to inspire strong opinions which should lend itself well to a bookclub discussion. I will likely listen to it on audiobook.
Wild sounds like a book and movie that I would enjoy – would you recommend just seeing the movie or reading the book first?
Hi Colleen, I actually think just seeing the movie Wild is fine. I think you get as much from it — if not more than the book. I’ll be interested to see what you think of Lean In. Cheers.
Lean In does sound like an intriguing book…I don’t often read business books, either, but I like them if they have anecdotes.
I think I might enjoy the movie Wild…not the book, though. It is not something I like reading about. Except that I would probably enjoy it more than I think, since I read another book about hiking this year, Trail Mix, from a blogger, Paulita Kincer, and loved it. For me, that story was more about the issues of the characters and not the hiking.
Thanks for sharing…and here are MY WEEKLY UPDATES
Yeah Laurel — the anecdotes make Lean In pretty interesting. Also you might like the movie Wild — as it’s got a lot of issues going on with Cheryl — not solely hiking.
I feel kind of stupid even commenting on this since I haven’t read Lean In, but I feel like I’ve read a fair amount about what’s in the book. At least the central messages. And – here’s my big beef with it – is she assuming all these women that are missing from high level exec positions actually want these positions? Being a high level exec at a huge company means you have little personal life and lots of workplace stress. You’re not going to get a ton of time with your kids. You’re going to miss a fair amount of their stuff. I feel like some women don’t actually want this, no matter what kind of husband they have.
Good point Sarah. I like your comment. I think a lot of women want a different lifestyle than the one she is advocating. I know I have a totally different lifestyle than hers so she might consider that I am “leaning back” instead of “In” to a career. Perhaps then we differ in what having a fulfilling life means, eh?
I haven’t read the book but really enjoyed the movie version of Wild. I actually bought the book after seeing the movie.
Yeah Kathy — it’s an interesting journey she goes through – both externally and internally.
I loved both the book and the movie, Wild. I also loved her other book Tiny Beautiful Things. I want to take a long hike now! I live near enough to the Appalachian Trail to have absolutely no excuse for not having hiked more of it.
I gave the Sandberg book to my step-daughter last year after she graduated from college because I loved the TED talk, but I will have to admit that I didn’t read it!
The Sandberg book is definitely career-oriented to extreme. I found it can be pretty inspirational for young people just starting out, so it seems it would make a good gift. As for the Strayed movie & book, it sure made me want to hike more as well! You must enjoy the A.T.
I do enjoy the AT but not as often as I would like to!
Yeah I know what you mean Amy.
Lean In is definitely a touchy subject. I know I’ve ranted about the lack of women leaders in my own very small company. Heck, in the last year, out of over 100 new hires, only three were women. I have been vocal about my concern – the only female manager of any clout is the HR manager – but have been told that no females are applying for positions. This is something with which I have really struggled as I sought and lost a promotion to an external, male candidate. There are no good or easy answers, and I do have issues with heavily sponsored/mentored/groomed female executives implying that it is relatively easy to break that glass ceiling. I think for every woman who does, there are millions who are just as frustrated as I am, so there is most definitely no one-size-fits-all answer.
Now that I have stepped off of my soap box, I will have to keep my eye out for a copy of Lean In. It sounds like it would be something that would at least get me thinking!
Oh yes Michelle I think you should definitely read or listen to “Lean In.” It will get you thinking about various issues in the workplace. You have good perspective into things already. It offers an interesting discussion at least.
I’m really looking forward to seeing Wild. I’m hoping it will come to our tiny movie theater at some point soon. I’m glad to hear it stayed true to the memoir, which I really loved.
Yep Kim, I think you will dig the movie.
I read Lean In and had a similar reaction. It’s out of my normal reading comfort zone, but I thought she made some really valid points. Like you, not all of them were perfectly on point, but many of them were.
I loved the book Wild and I’m looking forward to seeing the movie. I’m glad to hear you liked it! It does seem like a perfect book to turn into a movie because you can really see the Trail. I haven’t read Lean In but I highly recommend The Confidence Code, which is maybe a similar message but I think it’s a lot broader. I have no interest in being a business leader but I found a lot of ways to apply The Confidence Code. Also How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran is fantastic –it’s hilarious but I think she makes very good points!